Lisa-Jo Baker has been hosting a Five Minute Friday party for over a year and somehow, I’ve never participated. It’s simple- she just shares a writing prompt and hundreds of bloggers write about it for five minutes. No editing, no planning, no worrying. Just raw writing.
So I’m joining in today. The prompt is: Here. So here I go…
Since my daughter was born 27 months ago, I’ve been learning a daily lesson in being present. Admittedly the first 12 or so months were more like a forced lesson, as I struggled with the challenge of caring for a child, day in, day out. My reality, here.
But I adjusted. I got out of my stupid head, through my ridiculous pride, and asked some people for help. I learned to get out of bed every morning (whatever time it was) knowing that I would be present. That I would be here.
Now I’m waiting for my son to be born. We’re having a homebirth, so I’m just staying… here.
No need to leave. No need to rush. He’ll just come when he’s ready. A big part of me has thought back to those early weeks with Isabella and felt a lot of fear. I remember wanting to escape, and I know there will be even more bringing me back to reality. Not just a newborn, but a toddler. I’ll be needed… here. I don’t know what it will be like, but I guess I’m just trying to say this: I promise I’ll ask for help if I need it. Right away, not a year from now.
Being here is worth more than my pride.