On My Place in the Body of Christ
How could something be so ancient and, at the same time, so new? The tapestry we are sewn into, the legacy of believers, of giants of the faith, is at once faded and vibrantly alive.
Sarah Bessey recently wrote this incredible piece that I still can’t read the whole way through without breaking down into tears. Partly because what she talks about is so real and so beautiful, and partly because I know I’m fairly terrible at it. It’s so clear that this is how God meant for us to live life – together. Sharing what we have. Lifting each other up. Gathering with joy and honesty. Sitting face to face and eye to eye and hand in hand. Putting off pretention and loving unconditionally.
I’m scared to live like this. And I just don’t know why.
Maybe I cling too much to my little routine. Maybe I don’t feel like taking the time to truly care about other people. Maybe I’m too comfortable with the way my life is now. Maybe I’ve been hurt. Maybe I’m just selfish. Maybe I’m afraid to put myself out there, in real life, not just on my blog that practically no one reads. Maybe it’s all of it.
I’ve written about this before, and I’ve made resolutions to change. But old habits are comfortable and easy to slip on like a big, ugly sweater. I find myself waiting for an invitation to join the group, afraid that if I invite myself and get rejected… how foolish I’ll feel.
Yesterday, I read Sarah’s post and realized it is my invitation to a great feast, a banquet of the saints happening every moment, all around me. I realized that it’s time for me to step out of the shadows, leave my insecurities behind me, and become one of those doing the inviting.
I’m part of the body, the tapestry. You are too, we all are. We come from all walks of life, with all our varied passions and insecurities, fears and joys, gifts and faults, each of us so different yet tied together by this story so much bigger than ourselves. So I’m resolving, yes, again, to make myself vulnerable, to be real and raw, to be unashamed, to be uncomfortable and ok with it. I’m embracing the body, all of us, and I’m telling you that I won’t let fear hold be back from loving wildly.