Rachel Heath

Intentional Living: learning to be fully present

On something that’s just not fair

Every time someone asks me if we want more kids, I am suddenly rushed back to that awful night early last December, sitting on the toilet, doubled over with every wave of pain, totally helpless to stop the bleeding.

Miscarriage.  The word itself sounds broken.

Today I would have been over 36 weeks along.  I’ve mostly processed through it, but there are some days that the feeling of loss hits me so unexpectedly and so forcefully that I can hardly breathe.

I miss her so much, and I never met her.

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6 thoughts on “On something that’s just not fair

  1. Amy Rollert on said:

    This makes me cry. I miss her too, my other niece. I feel guilty every time I catch myself tell someone I have 1 niece.

  2. I had several of those myself and they hurt so much and it’s so hard for people to know what to say. My kids are grown and I still wonder what the little souls would have been like that I lost…but I also might not have the ones I have now so I am blessed! Love and hugs to you.

  3. Biggest hugs. It really isn’t fair. 😦

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