Take this job and… give it to me! Please!
Wow, it’s been a while since I’ve looked at this screen- the empty field of a new blog post. A little intimidating. A little hopeless. Lots of font choices.
I haven’t written because, for a while, there was no time. And now, because I don’t think I have anything interesting to write about. I’ve been on a lengthy, undesired hiatus from gainful employment, and whilst job-searching my way around the internets, stumbled upon several websites that pay by the article. I joined a couple as a freelance writer but every time I sit down to do my 500 word writing sample, I get stuck. So I thought maybe I should pick up my blog again and do some low-pressure writing… because 500 words on my favorite city to visit is so high-pressure. Blerg.
We’ve been back from South Carolina for almost 2 months. We’re living in my Grandmother’s basement till’ September 10th, when our blessedly private apartment will become available. Stephen, of course, got a job right away. We were here a short 3 weeks when he got an offer one Thursday, and he started the following Monday. He likes it, and they pay him. It’s really a lovely arrangement.
I, still unemployed, have made a job for myself out of applying for jobs. Every day I sit down at the computer and check craigslist and indeed.com for new job postings for receptionists and administrative assistants. There’s LOTS of openings out there. The tricky thing? We only have one car. So I can either walk to work or work in the vicinity of Stephen’s office, so we could drive together. The other tricky thing? Our neighborhood- and Stephen’s new job- are not exactly at the epicenter of corporate America. Or even corporate Denver. So out of an average 30 or 40 new postings every day, 15 or so are in our part of town. I then have to weed through the sketchy ones (“send a photo of yourself with resume please”) and the scammy ones (“WOrk from *HOmE* $100,000 a yEAr!!?!”) and the just plain weird ones (“DO NOT send me a resume! I can’t read a resume! I’m not a resume guy! Just tell me in a few paragraphs why you would like to be my assistant!”). That leaves me with a scant 3-5 postings I might be barely qualified for, which I dutifully apply for.
I also realized about a week ago that I had been sending my resume out with a word misspelled on it, and a major timeline mistake. Perhaps I could use it to my advantage.
Interviewer: What would you say your strengths are?
Me: Well, I’m very good at multi-tasking. For instance, did you know that I worked as a receptionist for two different companies at the same time? In different states? For, like, a year?
Interviewer: I see…
Me: I’m also an excellent proof-reader, and-
Interviewer: You misspelled the word “broad” right here. :::points to resume:::
Me: Oh yes, I’m also a liar.
Hopefully anyone who reads Rachel Resume 1.0 will be as lazy and ignorant as I was and not notice. Resume 2.0 has been in use for several days and I feel cautiously optimistic about it.
Updates will be posted as applicable, supposing I can apply myself to writing them.