It has been 3 months since I’ve posted anything. You can see how my blogging has slowly tapered off since April when I got married, then got a new job, then moved to South Carolina. It’s not like I’ve been too busy- I work 20 hours a week at a small church, and Stephen works the same or less in an average week. It’s just that I haven’t had anything to write about that didn’t make me feel more depressed. Somehow, not blogging about my life for the past 3 months has helped me to avoid the reality that life is still here to live, in South Carolina just as in Colorado, whether I like it or not.
I was touched by the comments I’ve gotten on my last post wondering where I am and wishing me Merry Christmas. I’m still alive, and still, as always, in transition.
I spent several months anticipating our trip to Denver for Christmas, so a part of me felt that we were only living in our new house in a new city temporarily, and we would be getting back home soon. We were in Denver for 2 weeks over Christmas, which was sweet but surreal. Driving back to SC was like moving away all over again. Now that we’re back, I can’t escape the fact that THIS is supposed to be my home now.
And now I’m faced with two distinct options: I can either keep wasting my time and energy on missing everything I left behind, or I can embrace and make the most of what I have available to me here. The choice seems obvious to a rational person, but I’m still vacillating between the two.
I’m working another boring part time job which allows me copious amounts of time on the internet, and I had forgotten how cathartic this is for me, so hopefully I’ll be back on here soon to tell you which of two options I’m going to go with.