Rachel Heath

Intentional Living: learning to be fully present

please excuse my venting

I am a total wreck today. I feel terrible. On top of my churning stomach, occasional gag reflex, throbbing temples, aching back, and sore throat, everyone was just plain mean today. I was hoping for a quiet day when the phones wouldn’t ring much and no one would come in. Instead, we had nearly 30 visitors to the office before lunch. 14 of them came in all at the same time. They all gave me an attitude about having to sign in and treated me like an inferior. People kept calling me all morning to belittle me because, more often than not, something happened that was completely out of my control and they just need someone to blame or they assume it was my fault. One woman, who is typically very kind and friendly with me, was really rude with me on the phone this morning. I went into the bathroom and cried. I’m very sensitive- it’s hard not to take that shit personally.

I managed to find a warm sunny quiet spot outside (do you know how hard that is in downtown Denver?) where I could relax and clear my mind. Jackass security guard made me leave and actually tried to follow me out of the courtyard (it’s not really a courtyard, exactly. Whatever.) I was in the midst of telling Stephen over the phone about my horrible day and how this little spot in the sunshine was the only happy thing about my day so far when the security guy made me leave, so I completely lost it. I cried again. A lot. I cried for, like, 10 minutes. I’m not even premenstrual right now. I’m coming unhinged.

What is wrong with me?


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3 thoughts on “please excuse my venting

  1. Sounds like you’re abit poorly my friend and should be at home wrapped up with a hot drink and old movies! Confession I’ve never eaten ‘sushi’ although I have always wanted to try we have never been able to find somewhere to try it! (Maybe next time we go to Manchester!) Go home leave them to it! Trust me I’m a mum!

  2. Just a day in the life, R&R. I’d say Stephen should give you a massage, then you should soak in the tub with a glass of wine and a plate of chocolate. I’m not a doctor, nor do I play one on TV, but I know what I’m talking about.

  3. Definitely go home and shut the world out. Pull the blanket over your head and don’t emerge until tomorrow! I hope you start to feel better soon, those days are the worst. You want to scream, “Hey, can’t you see I feel miserable here?!?” 😦

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